Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Still here...

Last week ended well with continued good eating and exercise.  At weigh in on Saturday morning I was down 2.4 pounds, bringing my total lost to 77 pounds.  I am excited I lost, as I really worked for that loss!  I will be really excited when I get back to 83 pounds lost and beyond...I think once I reach that point, I will begin to once again believe I will reach my ultimate goals.

This week has been rough.  Saturday and Sunday I got in A LOT of exercise...a 55 minute walk plus 2 hours of mixed Zumba & Work-It.  The entire class was 2 1/2 hours, but I sat out a few songs...every time I sat down to take a break, I would get up pretty quickly because class is no fun when you are sitting on the floor watching everybody else do it!  Sunday night both my daughter and I started getting sore throats and have been under the weather since.  She has a cough that is hanging on, my stomach has been upset for the past few days, I am still feeling pretty sluggish.  I have not been to the gym since Sunday, and I miss it...I know if I don't just stop and take a few days off I will not get better...so that is the plan.

In addition to not feeling well physically, it has been a rough week emotionally with lots of fighting with my dad. He is old and mean and grumpy.  I am sure that his stroke and old age have affected his brain and ability to think clearly and rationally.  He has so many things confused and many days is focused on rehashing the past.  I personally want to leave the past where it belongs...in.the.past.  I am tired of thinking about it, talking about it, and anticipating what he is going to come up with next.  The whole situation is taking its tole on my mind, body, and spirit.  It is taking a tole on my mom as well.  I feel bad for her and know she needs my family and I to be here for day to day things as well as moral support.  Life should not be so painful.

In spite of not feeling well and not exercising, my eating hasn't been too bad.  Today I did have some saltines and a regular coke to settle my stomach...and then I'm not sure what happened, but my son and I ended up in the Jack in the Box drive-thru.  I rarely drive through because I feel so much better when I eat at home.  My favorite "fast food" places are Subway, El Pollo Loco, and KFC, but what I order there cannot be eaten in the car.  I try to eat in the car as little as possible as I like to sit down, focus on what I am eating, and enjoy it so I don't eat too much...or too fast.  Anyway, I had a few fries in the car with my son, some Diet Coke (I did not finish it), I ate 1 chicken nugget when we got home, and I attempted to eat a Jumbo Jack with Cheese.  When I ordered it, I had every intention of eating it...my food has been light the past few days because of my stomach ache, so I decided I was ready to eat something of substance.  I put some fries on my plate, ate three of them, then decided I didn't want any more (yeah me).  Then I bit into the burger, decided to take the top bun off, took a few more bites, decided to take the bottom bun off, and then ate about 2/3 of the patty and gave up.  Even though I consumed more of it than my normal WW self would have, I consumed way less than my prior WW self would have!  I am happy that I could just stop eating it, even though it was in front of me and there were more fries on my plate.  I'm gonna call it a non-scale victory...I was victorious because I just stopped eating.

Tomorrow is a new day...I'm hoping my daughter and I will both be feeling better and be back to school.  Since her last day of school is next Friday, I am trying to spend as much time in her class as possible to help her teacher finish off this school year and prepare for the new year.  I really enjoy my time helping at her school and it keeps my mind off of troubles at home for sure.

Two more days until weigh in, I am hoping to at least maintain, if not lose a little.  This week has not been perfect by any means, but has certainly been better than many of the past recent weeks!