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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Day 89...

The day started off with a good walk and breakfast...as usual.  The morning went by quickly...my daughter had a Furlough day off from school so she went with my mom and I to the chiro.  We dropped my mom off, ran to the mall to buy hand soap at Bath & Body Works...one of my luxury items...although I do wait to buy them until they are on sale and we have a coupon.  From there we went to the library, picked up my mom, went to lunch, stopped at the bank, I ran into Sam's for a few items, got gas, and we were finally ome by 2pm. 

I did really well at lunch.  We went to Marie Callendars.  I had a very small bite of corn bread and decided it wasn't worth it.  I ordered the soup and salad bar.  I had a really good salad with all veggies except for a little bit of ham and ranch.  I did not have croutons, bacon bits, or the delicious creamy potato soup.  I tried the veggie soup but the broth had a stange flavor and the veggies were somewhere in the middle of raw and cooked...not my favorite.  I then tried the chicken tortilla soup and it was much better.  I had one small cup with 1 tablespoon of shredded cheese.  For a bit extra protein I had a small piece of my daughter's fresh turkey...super good!  My mom and daughter shared a slice of pumpkin pie that came free with my daughter's lunch.  I did not have a bite, lick, or taste of it...yeah me!

When we got home a few hours later I was physically hungry.  I opted for a yogurt and some fresh raspberries...good choice, right!?!?  I was good until I picked my son up from school and started making is snack...he is 16 and going through a growth spirt so he likes a "meal" type of snack.  That would be fine except some days I seem to black out and end up having a "meal" snack of my own.  I finally snapped out of it, but not after consuming far too many pp. 

I sat down and watched TV for a few minutes and then decided I better get moving to try and burn off some of the madness.  I found plenty of things to do for a good 2 hours...laundry, picking up here and there, emptying trash cans throuhgout the house, putting away some of the party stuff, doing dishes, etc.  I feel much better when I am moving than I do when I am sitting and eating when I really don't need to be.

On my walk this morning I thought it might be a good idea to note my daily eats everyday on this blog.  I am also going to start tracking on WW online again in addition to my paper tracker.  When I was "double tracking" I seemed to do better and not have so many moments of "what the heck did I just eat and why?".  Saturday I will need a new 3-month tracker so that will be my start date of tracking on paper, online, and on my blog.  I have got to stop momentarily forgetting I am a WW and how much I want to lose weight once and for all.  I am also thinking of a way to decorate the fridge door with friendly reminders not to eat unless I am truly hungry.  With my phone, Pandora, and my ActiveLink, I have found the "key" to getting in my activity...now I just need to figure out the eating part and I will be good!

Yesterday I ended the day earning a total of 10pp and making it to 176%.  Today I have earned 5pp and reached 120% thus far...it is only 5pm so there is still plenty of time to earn more.

Day 89...Food...+/-.  Activity...Success!

Onto Day 90...Hoping everyone has a great Thanksgiving.  I am thankful for so many people and things...my kids, hubby, mom, dad, and the rest of my family and friends.  I am thankful we have a roof over our heads, cars that get is where we need to go, car and health insurance, hot and cold running water, indoor plumbing, a washer and dryer at home, and the list goes on...

Tomorrow I will be making my first pies ever...one pumpkin and one apple.  I am half cheating because I don't have enough patience to make dough and crust on my own.  I am going to make the apple filling using a variety of fresh apples.  I hope they turn out delicious...edible would be fine too.  I didn't want to make a few "test" pies beforehand because we don't need that much pie.  We are eating at my brother's around 4pm.  I am still waiting for the Toys R Us Black Friday ad to decide if I will brave the crowds on my own since my hubby has to work.  I know Thanksgiving dinner itself will not be bad food wise...I just have to keep myself in check before and after dinner!  I am planning on starting the day with a 6-12 mile bike ride.  Last night I rode 8 miles, so I know I can at least do that...12 would be awesome, but I am not sure if my body will agree.  I am thankful it has allowed me to exercise so much.  We also plan to hang up the Christmas lights, go through some boxes in the shed, and put the rest of the party supplies away.  Should be a productive and active day.

I have thought alot about what I want to eat at dinner tomorrow.  I know I want turkey.  I probably won't have mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, or rolls.  I might have a bit of green bean cassarole and plain green beans on the side.  I know what pumpkin pie tastes like so I have decided I will skip it and ice cream and have a small piece of the apple pie instead...but I won't eat all of the crust.  Now if I can keep up with this plan, I will be good!  







Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Day 88...

This morning started out well with a good walk.  I was tired and decided to walk without hills...I am so glad I did as I ran into one of my WW buddies on the bike trail.  She walked with me a ways, we had a good chat, and then I was to my car and she headed back. 

Breakfast and my morning snack were fine.  Lunch was fine...shortly after lunch things went horribly wrong.  I don't know what comes over me sometimes that I think I need to eat a bit of this, a bit of that, and so on.  I didn't track the madness and have no idea how many pp I consumed.  Ugh.

When my husband got home from work I half seriously asked him to take me and my trike to the bike trail...without hesitation he told me yes.  He is so good to me...maybe it was because there was a fresh box of beer waiting for him in the fridge!?!?  I jumped up and changed my clothes as fast as I could.  I got to the bike trail planning to ride 6 miles.  I ended up riding 8 and the last few were fast as it was getting dark fast and I was freaking myself out...my legs were spinning like I was a woman being chased in a LifeTime movie.

My hubby came back for me, I made dinner, ate, watched the Novela with my hubby, did dishes, and here I am.  For dinner I made lean burgers and baked fries...if I hadn't had eaten like I did earlier in the day, this dinner would have been perfect.  After dinner I thought I needed some ice cream...I stopped eating it about 3/4 of the way through. 

If I could get my eating more consistent I know that scale would move faster in the right direction.  I surely have activity down and feel like today my walk and bike ride were wiped out by my eating.  I know a huge part of my eating problem is due to lack of a good schedule and and abundance of conflict, struggle, and constant chaos.  I have got to find a good balance and figure out how to work everything in.  So far I have earned 10pp and reached 173% on my ActiveLink.

Day 88...Food...Fail...Activity...Success!

Onto Day 89...I may not be perfect, but I am far from where I started, and I am NOT giving up!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Days 85, 86, & 87...

Day 85...The party was great!  My son put his big TV in the patio, we figured how to get the food out there too, 2 of his friends, some family, and our new neighbors all came.  The food turned out and everyone loved the new recipes.  The cake was a hit too...I think my son was in shock and took awhile to process it.  By the end of the day I earned 12pp and reached 166%.  I did not eat much during the day, or the party, because I was too busy running around "hostessing".  Near the end of the party I showed off my trike to some family who wanted to see it.  My niece's husband fixed my brakes and rode it up our street all the way to the top.  It gets pretty steep about 4 houses from the top, and I can only make it to the 3rd one.  I tried about 5 times, and finally got off of my bike and walked it the rest of the way to the top.  My son did it once and made it...as he should, he is only 16!  And my niece's husband is only in his early 20's, so they both should have been able to smoke this 35 year old!  I will keep at it and one day make it to the top.  It was dark and sprinkling some during the "trike" event, but it was still fun.

Day 86...Even though I don't drink, I must have had a party hangover!  I was so tired, as were my kids, hubby, and mom.  We had a bit of a lazy day.  I did not earn any pp and only reached 59%.  I ate a bit of left overs throughout the day not knowing what I really wanted.  I think I was more tired than hungry...oh well, didn't do too bad considering.  Since yesterday was my son's actual birthday I took him to Best Buy so he could use some of his birthday $ and gift cards.  I also made him some spice cupcakes, since that is that cake flavor he decided on too late...2 days before his birthday!  He and my daughter spent the day playing video games in the patio.  My son bought himself a new cell phone...I gave him my "upgrade" to use.  He gave his old phone to my daughter to use for the Internet.  They are both over the moon!

Day 87...I had planned to walk this morning but my daughter's cough was crazy last night.  I think it is hanging on because we always have a ton of things going on with little time to rest.  I kept her home and she stayed in bed all day, except for when we had to take my mom to the chiropractor...we stayed in the car with blankets and read books.  She is feeling a bit better and her cough is calming down some so she is going to school tomorrow...she has Wed ~ Fri off so I really want her to go tomorrow!  I ran a few errands in the afternoon, my eats were not the best, and I have not gotten in too much activity today.  Tomorrow is a new day and will be better.

Today I finished my 12 Week ActiveLink challenge...over the 12 weeks I earned 451pp!!!  I chose to start a new challenge and upped my daily goal from 5pp to 7pp.  I have got to make sure I get my walk in everyday along with some other kind of activity as well.  I also need to pay more attention to what, when, and why I am eating so I can start losing faster.  I know it is not realistic to compare this year to last, and I won't, but I would like to lose faster than I have been.

Day 87...=/-

Onto Day 88...

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Days 84, 85, and Weigh In...

Day 84...Super busy cooking for my son's party.  I tasted as I cooked, but just enough to taste, I also did not have any "meals" during the day so I did well.  Even though I didn't take my morning walk I still earned 9pp and reached 138% for the day...woo hoo!

Day 85...Weigh in...I was exactly the same as last week and I am so excited, especially since it is my TOM...last month I gained 2 pounds and the month before 5, so I am super excited!

Most of the cooking is done, the house is clean, and I still have a few hours until I have to start heating up, and setting out, the food.  I am going to take a break and sit with my favorite girl and watch some TV before the chaos begins.  I was up with my hubby at 4:30am this morning when he got up for work.  I started in on laundry, took a shower when he left, went to WW, stopped at the store for fruit, did more party prep, etc.  It is 1:30pm and I have earned 2pp and reached 70%...thus far...we'll see where I am by the end of the night!

Day 84, 85, and weigh in...Success!

Onto finish Day 85, then onto Day 86...

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Day 83...Ugh...

Not feeling so well today...my back is tender, my stomach is in knots, my arm and elbow are sore, and I am tired as usual. 

I finished the project for my daughter's teacher and she was so surprised and excited and so were the kids...makes it all worth it!  I went back for her Parent Teacher Conference and she is doing well.  The teacher loves having my daughter in her class, and loves having me there too.  She actually told me when she sees me walk through the door she "sighs in relief as she knows I will be there to help with whatever needs to be done".  That made me feel good too!  She also told me that I am a great mom...:)

After her conference I picked my son up from school.  We went to Wal-Mart to get a plastic bin for my wedding dress.  I never had it preserved...bad idea.  It needs to be steamed, pressed, and cleaned, but it is in good shape considering it has been in a box in the shed for over 5 years.  I tried it on last night and it is big...woo hoo!  Even though I am very far from where I want to be on my weight loss journey, I am also very far from where I started!

Yesterday I ate well and stayed within my daily pp.  Today I have gone over a bit and I am not sure if I will eat dinner.  I have not gotten in a ton of activity, but I am wiped out so maybe that is for the best.  Tomorrow and Saturday are going to be crazy busy with the rest of the party shopping, cleaning, laundry, and cooking.  I have my lists ready and everything planned...hopefully it all ends up good!

Day 83...+ / -

Onto Day 84...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Day 82...

Today was another busy one.  I did not feel very well when I woke up this morning but decided to walk anyway.  I went to a hilly park and only went down and up once.  It took me only 20 minutes, and I still wasn't feeling better so I figured maybe that was enough.

When I got home I started on another project for my son's birthday.  I am not sure if I will be able to finish so it mind end up being for Christmas.  I did get all of the skewer sticks glued onto my road signs and billboards. 

I took my mom to the gym to swim and ran a few errands while she was there.  She took more time than I had planned for so I decided we would split a salad from El Pollo Loco for lunch at home.  I ordered a chopped chicken breast to add to the salad, and even split in two, it was plenty.  After we ate I went to my daughter's school to help in her class. When we got home I got back to my son's project and put away all of the evidence.  I picked him up from school, fed him, and spent hours in our craft room with my daughter working on a surprise for her teacher. 

The classroom theme is "Hawaii" and the kids decorated surfers and surf boards for their multiplication facts charts.  I mounted and hung them all, but the top of the doors looks super plain.  I cut the words "Math Facts" and x2, x3, etc., using my Cricut. I also cut some water waves, palm tree like leaves, and fish.  I am almost finished and should be able to totally finish tomorrow morning.  I would like to go tomorrow right before school is out to put it all up for her as tomorrow and Friday are Parent Teacher Conferences.  School gets out early tomorrow, but I should be able to make it.

In spite of having a short walk this morning, I have earned 6pp and reached over 120% of my ActiveLink.  I was 100% on plan as far as eating goes today too.  Hopefully the scale will show my efforts, but I really think my TOM is close.  I am going to work on being more consistent with my eating, even through stressful situations.  I will do my best.

Day 82...Success!

Onto Day 83...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Day 81...

This morning I took a good walk in the cold and wind...it was worth it though because once I was done I felt better than I did when I started!

Once I got home I got to working on "signs" for my son's birthday cake.  All of his presents from my husband and I are going to be "displayed" on his cake.  I hope the cake base turned out as I asked at Albertson's...it is to have a curvy road from one of the bottom corners across to the opposite top corner, green bushes on either side of the road, and the rest is to be spray painted green.  I asked for blue piping around the edges, but now that I think about it, I am going to call and change it to green.   

I printed some road signs like, STOP, Yield, Caution, Deer Crossing, etc.  I also typed up some "billboard signs".  I will post pictures after his birthday.  His gifts stated on the billboards are online drivers ed, his written permit exam, a $ 10 League of Legends (LOL) card, and two free trips to In-N-Out...for him to eat only!  I will have a note about Behind the Wheel Training as "to be determined" since it is the most expensive part of the process.

Once I saved those to a flash drive, I put some stew meat into the crock pot, took my mom to the chiropractor, went to Wal-Mart, the 99 Cent Store, Staples to print my signs, picked up my mom, took her to get her hair cut, came home and made us lunch, picked my daughter up from school, worked on my son's cake signs, wrapped the t-shirts for him from my mom, hid all of the evidence, picked him up from school, made him a snack, helped my daughter with homework, sat down for a few minutes, made some chocolate pumpkin muffins, burnt my fingers taking them out of the oven, and now here I am.

It is 5pm and I have earned 6pp and reached over 100%.  My hubby just got home so I am off to great him.  I have not tracked so much today, but did write everything down.  I have not been out of control.  Feeling in a bit of a funk, probably from all of the nonsense with my dad lately.  I can't let it get me down.  The night is still young and I still have a ton to do.

Day 81...Success +/-.

Onto Day 82...

Monday, November 12, 2012

Day 80...End of day...

Today I had planned to rest, but decided it would be better for me to get out of the house instead.  My daughter and I went on our mini road trip and had a good time.  We bought my son's birthday present from my mom, did a few other errands, had lunch, and were done.  We were gone from 10:30am - 4pm and it was good to getaway without looking at the clock needing to be somewhere else. 

I did not track or count pp today, but was mindful of what I was eating.  Even though we walked around the mall for hours and got in and out of the car quite a few times, I have only earned 1pp and reached 70% for the day.  I have a few things left to do, but I doubt I will make it to 100%.

I felt pretty good while we were out, but as soon as I got on the freeway to head home, I started feeling tense and awful.  My mom had a long, rough day at home getting yelled at here and there by my dad.  It is just so unnecessary and makes me so angry.

Tomorrow I will be back to tracking 100% and will get my morning walk in.  This is going to be a fast and busy week working on the rest of the party prep and my daughter doesn't have many days of school.

My TOM of coming so I am not sure what the scale is going to say this week.  I have got to figure a way to separate my home struggles from my weight loss efforts.  I think it is probably extra hard because this is a similar environment to the one I grew up and gained weight in...although now it is 100 times worse, more stressful, and I have a ton more responsibilities.

I am still not giving up on ME...

Onto Day 81... 

Days 77, 78, 79, & 80...

Friday was busy until the afternoon, and even though I had a ton to do, I tok some time to rest. 

Saturday...weigh in...I was down .6.  I am happy as it was a loss.  I have to realistic and face the fact that with the added chaos and stress in my life my weight loss is not going to be as fast as last year.  Saturday was busy and full of major house cleaning, shopping, and party prep.  I did not track pp, but I did note what I ate...and it was not a super eaty day...yeah!

Sunday...Another super busy day of cleaning, shopping, and party prep.  We also took my mom to the pool in the afternoon and I took the kids to Kohls to get my son some new shoes and shorts.  I did not track pp, but I did note what I ate...and it was not a super eaty day...again...yeah!  The day ended badly with a fight with my dad.  I don't know if he has Alzheimer's or Dementia, or a little bit of both.  When we moved in, 5 long years ago, my husband built a shed in the backyard.  We asked my dad and he said we could.  We poured cement and made two sides...one for my husband's tools and such, and one for our household items and my craft stuff.  My dad is rarely outside, but for some reason yesterday he was.  He saw the shed and demanded it be taken down.  He also said we did not ask permission to put it up and he is also convinced we just recently put it up and does not believe it has been there for 5 years.  It is so difficult to deal with someone who doesn't remember things as they happened.  I know he is old, but he has always been heartless and mean.  With age, it is getting worse.  Shortly after our fight started, my husband calmly came and got me.  I went back to the kitchen to finish the dishes and I couldn't breathe.  I don't know if it was a panic attack, or what, but it was scary and I am glad it passed.  Living in this environment is really taking a toll on my mind, body, and spirit.  I just wish things would get better, but I have a feeling they are going to get worse first.

Monday...Today I woke up tired after last night's episode.  I have tons to do at home, as usual, but I think I am going to take the day off, head up the freeway, and wander through the mall with my daughter.  They have different stores up that way, and it will be nice to get out.  I will ask my mom is she wants to go.  My to do list for today can wait until tomorrow.  Thankful today for all of the soldier's and their families.  When there is so many sacrifices and lives lost in the military, it really makes me wonder how my dad can't be more thankful for what, and who, he has. 

Onto Day 81... 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Day 76...Another long day...

Last night I managed not to eat too much.  I earned 8pp and reached 128% for the day.

This morning did not start off well.  My daughter is still not feeling well, but did go to school.  It was kinda of drizzly out when I took the kids to school so I decided to skip my walk.  Once I got back home I decided I would go anyway.  First I couldn't find my shoes, then after much searching I did and I was out the door.  Right as I was almost to the bike trail I realized I didn't have my phone.  I can't be unreachable, and I really love my music to walk to, so I went back home.  I decided it just wasn't meant to happen. 

I instantly got in "clean with a vengeance" mode.  I did dishes, cleaned the stove, cleaned the outside of the fridge, dusted, started laundry, and picked up like a speed demon in efforts to clean up for the party and get in some activity. 

My daughter's school called within an hour of her getting there.  I went to pick her up.  We got home and I had to go to the valley to get my mom's friend.  It was a wet day and I don't enjoy driving in the rain, especially on the freeway, with all of the crazies that California drivers become once the first raindrop falls. 

We made it home safely and I cooked lunch for my mom, her friend, my daughter, and myself.  Once lunch was finished I dropped my mom's friend off at her hairdresser's, went to Wal-Mart, went to the bank, attempted to order my son's birthday cake, but opted to wait because it was pricey and I am not even sure how many people are coming, came home, put away what I bought, had a quick snack, started pre-cooking dinner, picked my son up from school, picked my mom's friend up, took her back to the valley, got back home, made dinner, did dishes, and here I am...at 8pm completely wiped out and ready to drop.  My daughter is afraid she will get detention if she doesn't finish all of her make up work...I can't imagine...but who knows!?  We will do what we can tonight and I will talk to her teacher in the morning at the award ceremony.

For dinner I made a few new test recipes for my son's party.  I made mini biscuit and crescent cups filled with three different fillings.  I used a mini cupcake tin which I bought today and I already love.  I used both crescent dough and layer biscuit dough and since I really couldn't tell too  much difference I am not sure which one I will use.  For the fillings I used Jack Daniel's BBQ Pulled Pork which was premade since I knew I wouldn't have much time tonight to make it from scratch.  For my second filling I used whipped chive cream cheese...so excited to finally find this flavor in the whipped version.  The third was 93% lean hamburger cooked (crumbled) with diced onions, bacon bits, mozzerella, and cheddar cheese topped with mashed potatoes.  All three turned out so good and everyone loved them except my son didn't care for the hamburger one.  He also doesn't like meatloaf, so I figure I will still serve them anyway.

Off to work on homework and fall into bed.

Day 76...Too busy...Success for food and activity +/-

Onto Day 77...

Day 75...I will NEVER understand the scale!

This morning I was up one pound from yesterday...I honestly thought it was going to be much more.  I am happy it wasn't.  I am hopeful it doesn't catch up tomorrow.  Yesterday I did earn 7pp and reached 121% on my ActiveLink...maybe that helped my cause a bit?

I started the day with my usual 1 egg and egg white scramble topped with ketchup.  I had 1/2 piece of toast instead of a whole slice since my daughter only wanted a 1/2.  After breakfast I fille up my dad's pill box for the week, cleared off the kitchen table, made my to do list for the day, put out some donation bags, cleaned off the front shelf, made my daughter's lunch, and we were on our way.  She was still not 100%, but I am going to school to help this afternoon so she would feel better.  I dropped her off at school and took my walk.  I was back to my faster pace and felt really good before, during, and after.

Once I finished my walk I ran into the grocery for a few things.  As I was walking to my car I realized I forgot something so I walked those groceries to the car and ran back into the store.  I got home, put away the groceries, created a last minute chart in Excel for my son, took him to school, and came back home.  Once home I cut up some bananas to freeze for "banana soft-serve" to be enjoyed after dinner.  It is now 10am and I must get started on the rest of my to do's as I only have a few hours until I leave for my daughter's school.  With as busy as I am you'd think I'd just be skinny by default!?!?

I have no where to go today except to pick my kids up from school.  I have a very busy schedule and hope that will help me stay out of the kitchen.  So much to do...off I go!



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Day 74...What the heck was I thinking!?!?

I was so tired when I woke up this morning.  I didn't even think about not going on my walk, I simply put on my clothes and shoes and did it.  I was 13 minutes slower than normal.  It usually only takes me 50 minutes to walk a hilly 3 miles...today...63.  Usually I feel better once I start working and really good once I am finished.  Today I still felt tired.

My daughter stayed home again today since she was coughing all night.  She is feeling much better so I am hoping she gets a good night's sleep and is raring to go back to school in the morning.  She loves school and hates to miss so I know she is really not feeling well when she doesn't want to go.  She stayed with my mom while I took my son to school and went for my walk.  I am lucky to have my mom and thankful she and my kids are so close.

After my walk I had to take my mom to the chiropractor.  My daughter took her blanket, pillow, and bunny.  We layed in the car and I read to her while my mom was doing her thing...it takes her a little over an hour each time.  My daughter and I ate peaches before we left the house but were still hungry.  I drove up and down the street looking and thinking where to go...What would be a good food choice?  Where could I drive-thru so my daughter wouldn't have to get out her car in her jammies?  We ended up at Carl's Jr...bad decision.  I had no idea what to order and ended up getting some chicken pieces, hashbrowns, and a Western Bacon Cheeseburger...What the heck was I thinking!?!?  I don't drive-thru often and this is was I chose!?!?

We drove back and sat in the car for our snack and to read.  My daughter ate a bit and was good.  I picked my burger apart and ended up eating less than half.  I also had a few hashbrowns and a piece of chicken with ranch.  Did I need any of it? No.  Did I enjoy any of it?  Yes.  It all tasted especially good...why?  Not sure...Maybe because I was tired.  Maybe because I have not eaten that kind of food at Carls Jr. in a very long time.  Maybe because "bad" food just tastes good.

After we picked my mom up, we came home, I made my mom lunch, and I was off to the valley to pick up her friend's medicine.  I honestly don't understand why her own dumb daughter, or her daughter's dumb husband couldn't do it since they live with her and it would save me 60 miles of driving and hours of my time!  On the way back to her house I passed another Carl's Jr.  The taste of the chicken earlier gave me the dumb idea to stop and have the same chicken in the form of a sandwich.  I ate the whole thing and it was delicious...I did not order any fries so that was a plus, but I did not look up or track the pp either.

The trip was stressful especially since my mom's friend tried to "reserve" all of my Thursdays for the rest of forever which would mean a total of 120 miles (2 round trips in one day) and many hours of my time each week.  I honestly already have enough to do and I shouldn't feel obiligated to add more.  I told her I could not commit to every Thursday and we would just have to take it as it comes. 

On my way home I ate a bag of Baked Doritos and 2 Reeses Peanut Butter Cups...yes, they were delicious.  When I got home my mom's response to her friend's request was "Well, you can't stop taking me places!"  Yes mom, I know.  I ended up eating a bit of ice cream, some cream cheese with jelly, and a spoonful of peanut butter.  Then I was done.  My random eats of this and that throughout the day finally caught up to me and I was done eating.  A few hours later I made dinner.  Store bought thin crust cheese pizza which I added toppings to...mini pepperoni slices, back olives, canadian bacon, green peppers, and red onion.  I did not add any additional cheese and once they were cooked I was glad I didn't because there was plenty.  I am a super multi-tasker, however I was doing the dishes when the time went off to take the pizza out of the oven.  I let it go another minute...or two?  The bottom 2 pizzas were a bit burnt on one side.  Luckily the top 2 pizzas were perfect.  I dished everyone up and had two small slices...which came out to 8pp for both.  Not bad, except for all of the other nonsense I ate throughout the day!

What is done is done.  Moving on... 

Monday, November 5, 2012

Day 73...Still feeling in control...

My daughter was still a bit coughy and boogery this morning so I kept her home from school.  It is now 3pm and she is much better...she will be able to go back to school tomorrow for sure.

I dropped my son off at school, went for my 3 mile hilly walk, stopped at the store to change some Redbox movies, and came home to be with my girl.  We had to take my mom to the gym to swim, came home for an hour, went to pick her up, came home for lunch, and I have been taking care of stuff in my desk since. 

I just picked my son up from school and came home to my dad yelling about how my husband doesn't know how to d anything because he didn't "correctly" stack something in the garage.  First of all my husband is very handy, smart, and willing...he helps my parents all the time and all my dad can do is *h!t on him.  I get so frustrated.  I told him what we need to do is go through stuff he hasn't touched in years and decide what to use, donate, or trash.  He then asked if I wanted him to move out.  He couldn't even if he wanted to.  He is so far from reality he wouldn't know where to start to move, find somewhere to live, or be able to manage on his own.  My response was I would like to move out but I can't because I need to take care of him and my mom.  He then told me he could take care of her...he hasn't taken care of her, or himself, in years.  Rather than staying in the kitchen to fight with him, I walked out and sat in the bathroom.  If I were to have gone to my room, he would have seen me and continued the fight.  After he went back to his room I finished making my son's snack and came back to the computer.  I didn't eat anything out of frustration or anger...a plus, I guess.

We are having a 16th birthday party for my son on the 17th of this month.  Two of my five siblings live locally and are coming...sometimes it pisses me that they will come to our parties but won't visit or call otherwise.  Everything falls on me and I am tired.  I am the youngest...my youngest brother is 13 years older than me and me oldest is 19 years older.  They all figure since I live here I should be the only one to deal with my parents...they think I am living the good life...not working, not paying rent...I don't have time to work, my husband doesn't make enough to pay rent, my parents have a reverse mortgage so they don't pay "rent" either, and if we had to pay someone for all my husband and I do they would be bankrupt. My reality couldn't be further from what my siblings think it is.  They also assume I will get the house when my parents are gone however, there is no house to "get".  It is technically upside down, but because they have the reverse mortgage are able to live here as long as 1 of the 2 is living in the house.

I could just scream!!!!  I will not let him get to me today.  I will continue to work on what I am doing, cook and eat dinner as planned, and end the day well.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 73...Will be a success, dang it!!!

 

Day 72...Unexpected Guest...

Sunday started off well.  I got up early, took a shower, and had a small breakfast.  My hubby took me, and my trike, to the bike trail and I rode 6 miles.  The weather was perfect, my music was good, and all was well.  I really love riding my bike and will be so excited once we figure on a trailer or something so I can take it to the bike trail myself. 

Late Saturday night my husband told me his mom was coming for the day (Sunday) and staying the night.  Her visits are always high speed in terms of cooking and talking.  My daughter was not feeling well and I had planned to have a quiet day, but she insisted on coming anyway.

Around 10am my daughter and I went to pick my mom up from church and came home to my husband and mother-in-law's arrival. 

She asked what we were cooking...I told her nothing. 

She asked where we were going...I told her no where. 

Why couldn't she see my daughter didn't feel well and needed her mommy?! 

Ugh.

Shortly after she decided she needed to go to Wal-Mart...she insisted I go...I told her no. 

My husband decided he would take her and give me, and my daughter, and break...thanks, husband!  He really is a great guy!

Shortly after they left my husband called to tell me they were also going to the swapmeet...good! 

In the background my mother-in-law asked if I wanted to go...I told her no.

They were gone for hours and hours.  My daughter and I watched movies as I flipped through cookbooks planning the menu for my son's 16th birthday party which he finally decided he wanted to have.

When they got home, she was ready to cook.  I had already planned dinner and decided I would continue to stand my ground and cook it myself.  Sometimes her insistence is too much, and I like to cook alone especially since our kitchen is not very big. 

I made Milanesa (thin pieces of beef breaded and fried in very little oil), I heated up some beans she had made and we froze last time she was here.  I also whipped up some creamy guacamole and grilled some small rolls with yogurt butter and Lipton's Onion Soup Mix.  It is very difficult to determine the pp for the Milanesa so instead of guessing or not tracking at all like I often do when I make it, I cooked up some chicken breast chunks and didn't even have 1 bite of Milanesa...woo hoo.

The day was kind of eaty, thinking about my mother-in-law and anticipating her return, but I did track everything and did not feel bad about my choices by the end of the day...a first for me in a long time when she is here!

I used 30 of my weeklies which left me with 18.  I earned 7pp and reached 125% on my ActiveLink, and I am proud of my food, movement, and dealing with a an unplanned visit from the Suegra (mother-in-law)!

Day 72...Success!

Day 71...Weigh In...

Much better day than the last.  Surprised , and thankful, the scale at home was down 5 pounds from the day before...how does that even work!?!?!  I think my body must have needed the rest, hours spent in bed, and maybe I cried out some water weight too!?!

I was down .2 at weigh in.  In the past I would have thought..."only .2?"...but at this point I am looking for maintaining, losing, or gaining as little as possible each week.  My total lost is now 67.8.

I almost didn't go to the meeting because I was still not feeling 100%.  I got up and went anyway.  I am glad I did.  I did not park far away or walk, but I went. 

After the meeting I ran errands...for hours and hours.  I went to sprouts and bought a huge, sweet, melon, a banana, and a magazine.  I rarely buy magazines, so it was a good day to do so.

I had my banana and water for pre-breakfast as all of the eating out options seemed too "pointy" and I was determined not to blow all of my weeklies on the weekend.

I ended up going to Target to pick up a few things and opted for 1/2 bag of popcorn for breakfast...not the healthiest choice, but it satisfied me, I tracked it, and for only 4pp it was much more pp friendly than several of the other choices swimming in my head and lurking in the streets.

Throughout the day I went to Wal-Mart, Sam's, Food 4 Less, Ralph's, took my mom to the gym to swim, and then took her to get a manicure and pedicure.    I did have some fresh pineapple somewhere in the mix, but I needed something of substance.  The last stop was the nail shop...the wait was supposed to be 10 minutes but ended up being 35.  Since my daughter had a stuffy nose we sat outside of the shop in the car.  Unfortunately we were sitting right in front of Little Caesars Pizza.  The smell was intoxicating...especially since I was physical hungry and in my mind...starving! I pondered what we could get as a lunch appetizer...bread sticks, chicken wings, cheesy bread, pizza...they all sounded so good but too many pp and I want to set good examples for my daughter.  We stuck it out for 35 MINUTES ~ yeah us!!!  By the time we were home it was 1:30pm and I was beyond starving. As soon as we got home I quickly put away all of the cold groceries and started on lunch.  I served my mom, daughter, and son first, and did not even take one bite in the process.  I weighed my chicken and tracked 100%...so proud of myself. 

The rest of the day was super busy and productive.

I ended the day using only 1 of my weekly pp ~ another woo hoo for me!

I earned 10pp and reached 152% even without my morning walk.

Day 71...Success!!

Day 70...A rough day...

Friday was miserable...I was overtired, frustrated, and beyond my limit. 

I took the kids to school, skipped my walk, took my mom to the chiropractor, came home and went to bed.  It was a long tearful day.  I managed to cook lunch for my mom and I, picked the kids up from school, went back to bed, made dinner, did the dishes, and went back to bed again.

ActiveLink...0pp earned, reached 52%.

Eating...100% on plan in spite of how I was feeling.

Glad that day is now in the past.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Days 68 & 69...More of the same...

I feel like I am just spinning my wheels...like I am in a boat with one oar.  I can move forward a bit, just to end up turning in circles and ending up right back where I started. 

Yesterday was the first day of November...I didn't even notice.  I have been so busy and on the go so much that I don't even know what day or month it is!

When I rejoined WW in August I started to keep a calendatr on my desk that I made notes on to include my daily weight, misc comments, activity, and yeah or neigh for eats.  By tomorrow's weigh in I will be not very far from where I started back in August when I was so determined to get the scale moving in the right direction on a consistant basis.

I know that I cannot change my environment, so I must change how I look at it and deal with it.  In last week's meeting our leader mentioned WW coming out with behavior modification strategies in the New Year.  I certainly do not want to wait until then to make changes, but I am looking forward to some additional insight for sure.

I am up 2 pounds this morning from yesterday.  I started the day well with a good, low pp, breakfast and a 3 mile walk.  Last year one of my fellow WW let me go through a mountain of clothes she had shrunk out of.  I ended up bring home 2 huge black trashbags full.  That was in December of last year.  I was able to fit into some, but some were too small and I had hopes of fitting in them.  I finally went through them yesterday.  My mom and I spent 3 hours looking through them.  I ended up with a black dress, a long sleeved shirt, and two light weight black "jackets" that I can wear with my sleeveless dresses.  I decided that hanging to so many clothes that are no going to fit soon is defeating.  My mom found many shirts, some shirts, and a few pants she liked.  It was quite a workout for her to try on so many clothes since she is hunched over, crooked, and does not have very good balance...but she did it! 

I know many of her health issues were brought on, or enhanced, by the stresses caused by my dad.  I hope she has some years of freedom from him before her time is up.  I refuse to let him do to me what he has done to her.  Since my family and I moved in with my parents in 2008, it has been a daily struggle, mostly because of my dad.  2012 has been even more of a struggle and challenge as it started with his stroke and then midway through my mom stopped driving.  Even more stress and responsibility has fallen upon my shoulders and it is taking its toll on my body, mind, and spirit.  Thankfully I have a great husband and fantastic kids...although my son knows how to push my tired buttons like no other.

I did well eating yesterday until my daughter came home from school...I snacked, snacked, and snacked some more...then by the time dinner came around I was in that mode and did not weigh or measure anything I ate.  I was in the mood for the chicken and pasta but not the veggies.  Before dinner the kids and I took my daughter's Halloween candy to the dentist...in exchange we received a gift card to Menchies.  We got our frozen yogurt and brought some to my mom.  After dinner she was still asking for dessert.  When I was young we rarely had dessert...now my mom and dad want it every night.  Most nights I can just serve it up and not think twice about eating it...then there are nights when I want to eat it...too much of it.  I feel like they have never supported my weight loss efforts and probably never will.  My mom did comment yesterday that she thought I would rejoin WW, lose a bunch of weight fast and be "slimmed down" by now.  When I mentioned all of the extra snacks, desserts, and stress in the house her response was "we all like to eat it and are not on WW".  She could lose 50 pounds but decided she doesn't want to which is fine...but hindering my progress and then wondering why I haven't lost more weight doesn't help me any.

Well enough of that nonsense...today I will do my best to stay within my dailies.  I did not go for my morning walk because I have too many things to do.  I know I will regret it later, but I also know I will make it to 100% on my ActiveLink with everything else I have to do.  Yesterday I earned 8pp and reached 131%...would be fabulous if I hadn't eaten all of them...and then some!

Days 68 & 69...Activity ok...Food fail.

Onto Day 70...

I've got to find a way to fit everything into each day, as well as enough rest and sleep so I can make better food choices when I am tired and frustrated and so my body can let go of this extra weight.  Somedays I get discouraged when I have done everything right...food, water, and exercise, and the scale still doesn't move.  I know being overtired, exhausted, doesn't help any so I will have to find a way to get past that.