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Monday, December 31, 2012

Day 129...The last day of 2012...

This morning did not start out well with a small squabble with my hubby.  I am tired of doing or saying the wrong thing and pissing everyone off.  I had planned to take a walk and ride my trike, but honestly I feel like crap...emotionally and physically!  I am hoping this blows over quickly and the New Year starts off on the right foot.

Day 129 ???

Onto Day 130 and hopefully a fresh start with the New Year!

Day 128...

Today was a busy day!  My hubby finished the trailer for my bike and we took it on it's first trip tot he bike trail with my trike, his bike, and my daughter's bike.  We had a few mishaps along the way...my hubby's bike tried to escape (we restrapped it down before it could), the hitch sounded loose (we checked it and it was ok), the tie downs for my trike were super tight because we put air in the tires after strapping the bikes down (my hubby whacked at it and it came loose), near the end of our ride there were some crazy winds that came out of nowhere, once we decided to turn back it started to rain.  Although it wasn't perfect, we laughed alot and had a good time!

Today was another eat just to eat day...I wish I knew what triggered these kinds of days so I could flip the switch the other way!

My daughter and I spent alot of time playing Just Dance on my son's XBOX.  I earned 8pp for the day and reached 136%!

Day 127...Weigh In...

I was up exactly 1 pound!  Looking back at all of my eats during the week I am sure my activity helped balance some of it out!  This week last year I gained 5.5 pounds, so I am taking 1 pound as a success!

Today I earned 5pp and reached 112%!

During the meeting I commited to tracking this week...only M ~ F.  Today was kind of eaty to just to eat, but I did get in some good activity!

Days 124 ~ 126...

The days following Christmas were a bit lazy and relaxed.  I did not track, enjoyed some goodies, but was still in control.

Day 124...Earned 3pp and reached 86%.

Day 125...Earned 4pp and reached 95%.

Day 126...Earned 2pp and reached 81%.

I am sure I could have reached 100% everyday, but after the rush and chaos of preparing for Christmas I just didn't have the energy or oomph!

Day 123...Christmas...

I ended the day yesterday reaching 187% and earning 13pp!  My hubby and I went to bed by 11pm and even though it took me awhile to fall asleep, I slept well. 

Christmas morning..."Mommy, Mommy, are you awake"?  Me...roll over open one eye and whisper..."yes".  My daughter and I got up at 7:15am.  She quietly checked to see if Santa came and was so excited to find that he had!  I got busy in the kitchen making, for the first time, French Family Meat & Potato Pie.  It takes hours to make, but turned out well considering.  Of course my dad had to tell me I needed to add more spices, but I followed the recipe so it is what it is. 

My husband got up around 8am.  I made Chileqiules for breakfast.  At 9am we woke up my son and dad and got to the stockings and presents...my daughter was so patient waiting all that time...she is amazing!

Christmas Day and Christmas Dinner both turned out well.  Santa brought me a little candy and I enjoyed every bit of it!

I earned 6pp and reached 114% on my ActiveLink...

Eats were enjoyed and not out of control...Success!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Day 122...Christmas Eve...

This morning I had planned to sleep in a bit, but when I rolled over and saw my daughter's big eyes staring me down, I knew it was time to get up.  I took care of some business on the computer while she cleaned up her room and picked up some things from the living room...Santa's pending arrival is a good motivator to get picked & cleaned up!

After a bit I made breakfast, did some dishes, did a few things around the house, and then I was off to take a walk.  I walked my normal 3-mile loop pretty fast.  I then went to Wal-Mart for a few groceries, Food 4 Less for some flowers for the table for my mom, and Home Depot for some pansies for her from my dad.  While I was out I bought a banana, water, and some carrots because I was hungry and had not brought anything with me.  By the time I got home I was feeling rushed from the crowds, tired, and hungry.  I ate a bit of this and that, and then finally realized I needed to stop before I did too much damage.  I have not eaten anything since and am not super hungry for dinner.  My mother-in-law and my husband's cousin should be here in a few hours and we will not eat until 6:30pm or 7pm.  I probably won't have too much...we'll see.  I have already earned 9pp and the night is still young.  I know all of my extra activity has helped to work off some of my extra eats.  I am hoping to maintain or lose a little for next week's weigh in...the last weigh in of this year...last year during this week I gained over 5 pounds, so anything less than that will be bueno!

Day 122...Success!

Onto Day 123...Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Day 121...Continued...

The chicken pot pie turned out extraordinarily delicious!  My dad and mom both had seconds.  I wanted to have seconds, and thirds, but I did not..it was tempting to have another piece especially since everyone else did, but I stuck to my guns and put the last two pieces in the fridge.  However, after I popped the pie in the oven I did have a few spoonfuls of the extra filling...not too bad since there was no crust.

At 7pm my mom, daughter, and I went to pick up her friend.  It was their first "play date" individually, and together.  Her mom told me how nervous she was to let her go on play dates, but said she was ok we took her and when we got back, even said she could come to our house over break!  My daughter loves to scrapbook and craft and her friend does not do much of either so my daughter is making plans to teach her.  The girls had fun on our hour and half long car ride to see the lights.  There was one street, like a "t", that had one entry street and then you could turn right or left.  We waited in line for 25 minutes to turn into the street.  It was well worth the wait!  Every house, except for two, went all out.  They had lights, painted wood, blow ups, murals, stuffed toys, there were even many houses with chairs and fire pits in the driveway.  It was totally what I think the holiday season should be...coming together and being joyful!  The girls sat in the back seat taking pictures and singing Christmas songs from their Winter Sing at school.  It was so nice to hear their giggles.

Before we left my daughter and I were going to play the Wii, but both controllers' batteries needed charging.  We will make time today for sure!  Instead of Wii, I did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen and the crafting room...by the end of the night I earned 6pp and reached 116%!

Day 121...Success!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Day 121...Busy & Eaty...

This morning I took my daughter and mom to church.  It was a nice service and I know my mom was happy to be there and see many of her friends.  When we got home I got busy in the kitchen.  I made homemade pizza for lunch, banana bread to use up some ugly on the outside ~ nice on the inside bananas, some cake-like chocolate chip cookies, and some double chocolate cookies.  It has been kind of an eaty day with bits of this and that, here and there.  I really love the pizza I made, but next time I make it I need to start the dough sooner so the rising is done by the time I am ready to eat...today it took quite awhile so I ended up eating beforehand...and then still had pizza once it was ready. 

I am making a chicken pot pie for dinner.  At 7pm, I am taking my mom, daughter, and my daughter's friend to see Christmas lights.  My husband doesn't understand the concept of driving around looking at lights, which maybe is for the best...I can just take the girls and we don't have to rush!

Tomorrow my husband has to work all day.  I am going to get some Pansies for my mom's garden for her Christmas present from my dad.  I am also going to get her some fresh flowers for the kitchen table as part of his gift.  Tomorrow will be a busy day, but I have decided I am going to get up and take a good walk first thing.  I am to 66% on my ActiveLink and it is only 3:30pm so I am sure I will reach 100%, but I would have liked to take a walk to add to it.  I am going to try and make time to play the Wii with my daughter for some extra activity.  My husband will be off from Christmas Day until the day after New Years...I am going to make an extra effort to take my walks and ride my bike.  I want to end the year the best way I can to get a head start for the fresh, New Year just around the corner.  2013 has GOT to be better than 2012!

Day 121...A bit eaty, It will be a success!

Onto Day 122...

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Day 119...Success!

Even though my day got off to a rough start, it turned out pretty well.  I ate well throughout the day and kept my walking clothes and shoes on to go shopping.  I tend to walk faster and move more when I am wearing my gym clothes.  It is 6:45pm and I am already earned 9pp and reached 144%!

I got the rest of our Christmas shopping done and just have a few more small items to wrap.  I also finished grocery shopping for our holiday dinners.  On Christmas Eve, my husband's mom and his cousin are coming for dinner.  I am going to make a spiral ham, scalloped potatoes, crescent rolls, and green bean casserole.  For dessert we are having ice cream and the chocolate cake that came in my Omaha Steak package from my uncle.  On Christmas my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew are coming to dinner.  I am making pork roast, gravy, carrots, mashed potatoes, sweet potato "fluff", caramelized mini potatoes, and parker house rolls.  For dessert we are having rice pudding with cherry pie filling and I am also making pumpkin spice cupcakes since my daughter does not like rice pudding.  I will not eat everything either meal as some things I like better than others and I am going to make mindful choices yet still enjoy myself.

My mom was having a rough afternoon as she was trying to play the piano and struggling because of her inability to sit up straight and her shaking from the Parkinsons.  I feel so bad for her and wish I could help.  My daughter and I are going to take her to church tomorrow morning, and maybe Monday too for a special Christmas Eve service.  I also want to get out and take my mom, my daughter, and her friend to see Christmas lights...I better hurry before they are all taken down!  Maybe tomorrow night?!?!

My husband had to work today and just start snoring so I am off to wrap his last present.

Day 119...Success!

Onto Day 120...

Days 119 & 120...More Tears & Weigh In...

Today was another tearful day.  Mid morning I had had enough and went for a good, long, hilly walk.  I cried most of the way, but by the time I was done I felt a bit better.  I got in a lot of activity throughout the day and even though I was already to 100% and had earned 5pp, I put laundry away piece by piece and racked up another 3pp!

In the afternoon my daughter and I went to visit my friend.  I met her in high school and her mom took care of my daughter when she was little.  We were there a few hours and it was a nice visit and break from home.  They had made a ton of cookies and had a ton of candy out.  I had one bite of my daughter's cookie and told my friend's husband not to be a "food pusher" when he told me this is the season to eat.  I am happy with my decision and combined with other good decisions I made throughout the week, and all of my activity, I was down .8 at weigh in this morning!

I am super happy with that loss because I didn't track pp at all this week...I did write everything I ate down which kept me aware, but I decided I am not going to worry about tracking pp values until January when my husband goes back to work.  I am going to make sure I am active everyday and be mindful of what I eat.

When I got home and told my mom how much I lost, she looked disappointed.  Yesterday she told me she didn't understand why I am not losing more weight.  I told her it was a combination of things...not getting enough rest, being stressed out, being upset over my dad, and the list goes on.  Comments like the one she made make me feel like a failure.  Her look this morning made me feel like crap.  For about 1/2 a second I thought about raiding the kitchen, instead I made and ate my planned breakfast and am going to get busy on my to do list.  This week last year I gained almost 3 pounds so I think a .8 loss is quite fabulous!

Day 119...Although tearful ~ Both Food & Activity ~ Success!

Day 120...It is 9:30am and I have already made it to 42% on my ActiveLink so I know activity will   
                 be good.  I am going to make my daily eats good as well...

Friday, December 21, 2012

Day 118...Tears...

Wednesday night I had trouble falling asleep.  Usually if I watch a little TV in bed it helps.  I tried that but it didn't work.  My mom was in my dad's room talking with him around 10:30pm.  He started yelling at her.  I went to check on them and she said they were fine, he "just talks loud".  Usually he is yelling and being mean so how was I supposed to know.  As I was leaving she told him that I do my fair share of yelling.  That comment made me sad because I was there to try and help her.  I ended up in tears.  Do I yell?  Yes...sometimes I do, don't most people from time to time?  When I yell it is usually out of frustration and because I am beyond the point of exhaustion...I don't yell just to be mean and make people feel like crap!

My husband woke up to me crying, he felt bad...I felt worse.  I finally fell asleep only to wake up in the morning feeling awful.  I took my mom to Physical Therapy.  When we got home I went to my daughter's school to help for their Holiday Party.  It was fun and took my mind off of home.  They had tons of donuts, muffins, bagels, and fruit.  I had a banana, 2 cuties, and some grapes...when I got home I had a few donut holes. 

At lunch time I walked back home and made lunch for my mom, my son, and myself.  As I was almost ready to go back to the school, my dad came out of his room.  He was going to check the shed that my husband built, when we moved here 5 years years ago, to hold our belongings.  My dad has convinced himself that we just built it recently.  He has forgotten all of the yelling, dictation, and grief he gave us during the process.  I have not.  When he came back in he told me how horrible it was (which it is not), how the backyard grass has suffered because we walk the same path, etc.  He has never taken any interest in the house, the yard, or the people here.  The backyard is very big.  Grass has never grown well back there.  It was dirt and weeds for about 25 of the 35 years they have lived here.  My husband does what he can to keep the garden looking nice.  The front yard looks better than the backyard.  The backyard should have been cemented, but my dad didn't want to "waste" the money on cement just to make it "look nice".  The whole incident ended up in a shouting match and I was in tears.  I asked him why he hated me so much...he didn't answer...not even to say he doesn't hate me.  I finally stopped crying, put more mascara on, and went back to my daughter's school.  I felt better when I got there and during our walk home.  Once I walked in the front door, I started feeling the overwhelming dread that consumes me when I am home.  Wondering what he is going to yell at me next about, wondering if that fight will cause me to have a nervous breakdown or a heart attack...this is no way to live.  I am thankful we have a roof over our heads, heat, food on the table, running water, etc., but life shouldn't have to be this miserable because of one person's words and actions.  He doesn't have anyone else to do all I do.  My 5 siblings just don't care.  He and my mom can't live on their own...I am it.

By the time my husband came home from work I was lying on the couch with a headache.  I had forgotten to go to the bank for his payday.  I got dressed and he drove.  We stopped by the bank, for my gas, and dinner at McDonald's...just about the only place all 6 will eat.  I had a Diet Coke, 1/2 of a McRib, 1 Chicken Nugget, and 1/2 of a small fry.  Not too bad considering...could have been better, but also could have been worse.

I only made it to 85% on my ActiveLink, but I did earn 2pp for the day so something is better than nothing. 

Day 118...It was what it was...

Onto Day 119...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Day 117...Feeling bleh...

It is 4:45pm and I am tired and feeling bleh...

I got up super early this morning, dropped my kids off at school, went back to my daughter's school with my mom to watch the Winter Sing.  Luckily my daughter's grade was the second to sing because the program started late and my mom couldn't sit very long. 

I dropped my mom off at home, I went to Staples to make a few more copies of pictures for our Christmas cards and then went to The UPS store.  I had 7 Flat Rate boxes to mail.  Once I got them all ready, I was told they charge a "service fee" of $3 per box...to save that $21, I thanked them, took my boxes, drove to the Post Office, and waited in line.  Even though I don't have much time, it was worth the wait!

When I got home it was almost time to pick my son up from school.  I talked with my mom a bit and then went to pick him up.  I made Patty Melts for lunch...A grilled cheese with a hamburger and grilled onions inside.  I know I have made them before, but my son was skeptical during the cooking process...after his first bite he asked, "so how often will these be on they menu?"  That means he really liked them...yeah!

Today was my dad's last visit with the physical therapist...she was here quite a while.  After she left a few of  my mom's friends stopped by for some quilt advise...after about 20 minutes I left to get my daughter...I walked again rather than waiting in valet.

I have to figure out what is for dinner and probably do some laundry...I am very tired and hope to get to bed early...I have made it to 68% on my ActiveLink...will do my best to get to 100%...I have only missed reaching it 2 days so far this month so I am 16 for 18!  My eats have been ok more or less.  I probably won't have too much for dinner...I think at this point I need rest and sleep more than I need food.  I was down a half a pound this morning after maintaining my weigh in weight every day since weigh in.  I am hoping by this week's weigh in I am down, or at least maintaining.  I know I need more rest and sleep as I am always go, go, go...

When I got back from Christmas shopping the other day, I really wanted to tell my daughter a few fun things that happened, but I couldn't because I didn't want to ruin the surprise.  When the two of us were out shopping together last night, I was very aware of how lucky I am to have such a great relationship with both of my kids.  I cannot even imagine the pain and heartache the parents and families in CT must be suffering at this very moment.  My heart aches for each and every one of them...the children and adults who lives were taken and all of their survivors.

Day 117...Success & Sadness.

Onto Day 118...

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Day 116...Busy & Productive!

I got quite a bit done today...woo hoo!  I finished wrapping all of the Christmas gifts and finished up the last bit of shopping.  My daughter and I went to the store at 3:30pm...it was so crowded!  We went to Target, Kohls, Sams, and Wal-Mart.  I have already earned 6pp for the day and have almost made it to 125%.

Eats were not too bad today, until the late afternoon.  My husband was home for lunch because he had his company Holiday Party tonight.  Right after my hubby got home I had to pick my son up from school.  I decided on Subway for lunch.  Today was early dismissal for my daughter so I only had a few minutes to eat my 6" Roasted Chicken on Wheat w/ a ton of veggies.  I took a few extra minutes to eat and then walked quickly to her school to pick her up instead of driving and waiting in valet. 

By the time we got home from shopping, it was almost 7pm.  I was hungry and "buzzing" from all of the crowds in the store.  I had a bit of potato salad (1/8 cup), baked beans (1/4 cup), grilled chicken (+/- 4oz), 2 plain turkey dogs without buns, one beef  hot dog with a bun, 2 chocolate pecans, 1 ~ 1" cube of fudge, and a 1/4 of a chocolate chip cookie...more than I should have, but less than I could have..good thing I got in alot of activity!  I need to plan ahead and have an emergency dinner plan so I am not picking while I am cooking...good thing I usually have dinner planned and am rarely shopping when I should be cooking or eating it!  Considering this is the holiday season, I think am doing ok.

Day 116...+/-

Onto Day 117...

Day 115...Busy...

Today is Tuesday, Day 116...for the first time EVER, I have been the same exact weight since Saturday...3 days of the same number on the scale!  I am thrilled because I have not tracked or taken any long walks.  I have reached, or exceeded 100% on my ActiveLink everyday, which means I have been active.  I have also been mindful of what I am eating, and I have been far too busy to sit and eat just to eat.  Usually during a busy, eaty day I am in the kitchen grabbing a quick something several times throughout the day.  This week has been different!  Even when I was making my chocolate dipped gifts, when one would break or not turn out right, instead of eating it I threw it in the trash...woo hoo!  While wrapping presents I did eat 1 mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cup and 1 cherry lollipop, but I was so in control...yeah!

Today will be another busy one and I am planning on getting the rest of our presents wrapped...yesterday morning I spent too much time talking with my mom before I got started wrapping and then my son had a half day at school which I forgot about.  I had to abort "operation wrap presents", clean up my mess, and go get him.  Oh well...at least I was able to hide the evidence!

Day 115...Success!

Onto start Day 116...

Monday, December 17, 2012

Day 114...Success...

Another busy, active, and good eats day.  I didn't track, but was aware of what and how much I ate.  I earned 7pp for the day on my ActiveLink, almost finished up Christmas shopping, and got almost all of the "sweets" gifts made.

My daughter is feeling better and went back to school this morning.  I am supposed to be wrapping presents, and better get to it before I have to pick her up from school.

Days 113 & 114...Success!

P.S.  I weighed exactly the same Saturday, Sunday, and this morning...woo hoo...no weekend gain...hopeful it will not catch up to me later in the week!

Onto Day 115...

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Day 113...Weigh In...

This morning I was so tired when my alarm went off, I really want to stay in bed.  I was up half the night checking my daughter's forehead for a fever...luckily she did not have any fevers during the night or when she woke up!  I think the antibiotics are kicking in and hope she will be back to 100% soon!

Even though I was super tired and really wanted to sleep, I got up, took a shower, got dressed, and was out the door.  It was super cold this morning...35 degrees.  I parked way down the street from the WW meeting and warmed up pretty quickly once I started walking. 

I was up 2 pounds.  I am actually surprised it wasn't more considering I didn't get as much activity as usual this week, I have not been sleeping well, and Thursday and Friday were both non-tracking willy-nilly days.  As I was walking back from the meeting, I started thinking about Thursday and Friday.  I know I was super past the point of exhaustion, but I wonder if some of my behavior was also due to being "so good" during the weekend.  I am going to try taking this weekend off from tracking and then get back to it come Monday.  I do not have holiday parties, or really any festivities to attend over the holidays, so I should be able to relax a bit over the weekends and then get back to work during the week.  I will see how it goes this week and then decide if a new plan of action is needed.

My hubby and I went to get our Christmas tree today...it is over 7ft tall and only cost $ 25...woo hoo Home Depot!  The kids and I worked on decorating the tree and the living room, then they helped each other put up the train.  It is now 4:30pm and my shoulder and arm are out of whack.  My husband is at his cousin's with his mom so I think I will take this opportunity to hop in bed and watch some nothingness on TV.  I have already reached 100% on my ActiveLink so I think I should be able to take a rest.  So far for the month of December I am 13 for 15 reaching 100%...not too bad!

My eating has not been perfect today, but has not been out of control either.

Day 113...Success +/-.

Onto Day 114...

Friday, December 14, 2012

Days 109, 110, & 111...

Tuesday morning my daughter woke up with a fever of 103.7.  I waited and waited for Urgent Care to open, but ended up going to the ER because she started vomitting.  They gave her an IV, took x-rays, and gave her some anti-nausea medicine.  We were there for 5 hours and by the time we left she looked much better.  She was a trooper through it all and thankfully they were able to bill me for the $200 copay.  Throughout the day her fever would come and go.  I called her doctor's office and they told me to give her Tylonol and Motrin. 

The fever has held on for days and I took her back to the doctor this morning.  A different doctor determined she has Strep Throat and prescribed her some antibiotics.  I hope they work fast, she fells better quickly, and she is able to go back to school by Monday as she misses her teacher and friends and there are only 4 more school days before Winter Break. 

We are supposed to get our Christmas tree this weekend, but my daughter might have to stay home with granny as it has been cold and wet the past few days.  With my daughter being so sick and trying to take care of my parents, it hasn't quite sunken in that Christmas is only about 10 days away.  I had planned to wrap gifts this week when my kids were at school but with my daughter home that did not happen. 

Although I haven't been able to take my walks, or do any formal exercise, I have made it to 100% in my ActiveLink everyday this week except for yesterday...I spent alot of time laying around with my daughter and only got to 79%.  Saturday ~ Wednesday were all perfect, on track, WW days.  Yesterday I went a bit nuts.  I must have had too much salt on Wednesday because they scale shot up 3 pounds yesterday morning.  That surprise combined with being over tired made for a very eaty day...a day full of eating just to eat, and not tracking the majority of it.  This morning the scale was the same.  I decided I am going to track all day and do my best to stay within my pp in efforts of making tomorrow's meeting with the WW scale as good as it can be.  I was super hungry thus morning after taking my daughter to the doctor.  I had some peaches, a piece of string cheese, and made up some grilled boneless, skinless chicken.  So far so good.  I am going to try and stick with Power Foods today and see how it goes.  This has been a super challenging week and although it could have been much worse, there is always room for improvement. 

Days 109, 110, & 111...+/-

Onto finish Day 112...

 

Monday, December 10, 2012

Day 108...

Instead of my walk this morning I went back to Target first thing to finish up Christmas shopping.  I walked around the store for a good hour and a half.  By then I ws hungry so I had a 1/2 bag of popcorn and a Diet Pepsi...hit the spot I tracked it so I am good!   

When I got home I hung out with my mom a bit and worked on Christmas crafts.  My dad's physical therapy appointment was too long...alot of talking and a preliminary evaluation.  He was arguing a bit, and it was what it was.

My daughter's school called about an hour before school was out.  She had a headache so I brought her home.  I looked up the side effects for the cough medicine and since it has codeine, one of the side effects is a headache.  I decided not to give her any more and see how she feels in the morning.

My eats today were pretty good.  Once again I tracked EVERYTHING!  I did have an extra snack in the afternoon, but compensated at dinner by just have a bit of the beef, onions, broccoli, and pan sauce I made...no Mac & Cheese or ice cream...success!  There were a few times during the day, especially after the session with the physical therpist, that I wanted to eat just to eat but I didn't...another success!

I ended up using 5 of my weeklies and still have 31 left...woo hoo!  So far I have earned 3pp and reached 97%...I will get to 100% before I go to bed!

Taking it one day at a time!

Day 108...Success!

Onto Day 109...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Day 107...Success!

Yesterday I got a ton of things done, including picking up around the house, some laundry, and a ridiculous amount of dishes.  Our dish washer was on the fritz, so I had to wash and rewash half a bazillion dishes.  I ran dishwasher cleaner through it twice today and I think it should be ok.  I am going to try a very light load to be sure. 

I ended the day earning 9pp and reached 154%!  I tracked EVERYTHING that went into my mouth throughout the ENTIRE day!  I met all of my healthy guidelines except for oil and I only used 7 of my weeklies.

Today started early with a surprise visit from Aunt Flo...the past few weeks have been so busy I didn't even realize she was on the way.  This makes me even more excited about maintaining at weigh in yesterday...that makes two months in a row that I have maintained during this time of the month...woo hoo!  The two prior months brought me a gain of 5 & 2 pounds, so maintaining in super BUENO!

I was hungry after my 6am shower so I ate breakfast while everyone else slept.  I made an "egg roll" with an egg white, shredded cheese, spinach, and a flour tortilla.  It was good and filling.  I got right to working on the laundry and within a few hours the whole house was awake.  I made pancakes and eggs with turkey sausage for everyone for breakfast.  I was hungry again so I had one small pancake with 1 turkey sausage cut up and cooked into it and topped it with 7 pecans and a bit of  light pancake syrup.  I was satisfied and didn't feel the need, or desire, to eat any more.

After I cleaned up the kitchen I went over my Christmas list for our kids.  We don't really have too many people on our list this year.  My daughter and I are going to bake some cookies and make some candy next weekend to mail off to my sibling's families and for some local friends.  We are also making paper / glitter "Merry Christmas" & "Happy Holiday" banners to send as well.  We are not sending too much for a few reasons...we can't afford to spend too much extra money this year, gifts should be received in "it's the thought that counts manner", I don't want to give too many calories to my loved ones, and TIME!

After I finished my list, my hubby and I went Christmas shopping.  He was so tired, and not super enthusiastic, so we just got the things I wanted his opinion on and I will go back and get the rest myself one day this week.  I know he is tired...I KNOW tired...however I choose to keep going.  I am glad he chose to take the day off...he doesn't do it very often, I should learn from him and do it once and a while as well.

We finished in less than an hour and a half.  We went to two stores that were in the same shopping center...it was strange not to walk from store to store because that is what I do even when I am with my daughter, but since my hubby was so tired we drove.  Kind of neat that it seemed strange to me because a few short years ago, I would have driven and not even thought to walk...I'm counting this as a new habit and a non-scale victory!

When we got home I baked up some banana bread to use up some shabby looking bananas.  I used my stand mixer...it is AMAZING!  Last time we made this same recipe my daughter used a fork to squish the bananas...this go round I popped them in the mixer and 1, 2, 3, they were done...so awesome!

I used star shaped foil muffin "tins" for portion control and easy sharing.  Each star came to 3pp.  My daughter is taking 1 to each of her 3 teachers tomorrow.  I took some to my mom's friend, and there are some left.  The recipe made 20...not too little, not too much...just right.  I ate one today and might eat another tomorrow but I don't have feel the need, or desire, to eat any more...another non-scale victory!

My mom quit her church choir a few months ago because of her Parkenson's shaking.  My daughter and I took her to see the choir concert this afternoon...it was really neat.  I don't go to church, but I was kind of sad that they made quite a big deal of the offering tray and did not evening say a prayer or offer well wishes.  They had tons of sweets after, but I did not have any...not one BLT...no cookies, no fudge, no candy...yeah! My mom, daughter, and I enjoyed th concert and she my mom was thankful we took her. 

By the time we were on our way home it was already 6pm, and I had not planned anything for dinner.  My mom and daughter decided on Panda Express.  I ran in while they waited in the car.  Instead of getting the "Family Feast" I got 3 Three-Item Meals so we can have more variety for the mains and it cost less anyway.  I served everyones' plate without eating anything and then carefully prepared mine.  I decided a few trips ago that I do not really like the Spring Rolls so I did not have even a bite of one.  I did have about 2 tbs of Chow Main...a ton of Broccoli from the Beef Broccoli with only 1 piece of beef, 1 piece of Orange Chicken, 1 piece of Walnut Shrimp with 1 walnut, a bit of chicken from the green bean chicken, lots of green beans, mushrooms, and zucchini, two fortune cookies, and some Diet Pepsi.  I tracked everything, was satisfied, and was not stuffed.

I ended today using 6 of my weeklies...only 13 for the entire weekend with 100% tracking...yippee!

I have earned 2pp, but have only earned 89%.  I have plenty to do so I know I will reach 100%. 

Day 107...Activity ~ Success...Food ~ Success!

Onto Day 108...







Saturday, December 8, 2012

Day 106...Weigh In...

Last night was a long night...my dad was up late and kept going to my son's room for help with his TV.  My mom woke up and got int the bathroom before I could to get ready to go to WW.  When she was done I hopped in the shower, got ready, and was on my way  I parked a ways away and walked a good 10 minutes each way.  I stopped for some fresh produce on the way home as well.

Weigh in...I maintained the exact same weight as last week which I am happy for.  I have not tracked in two weeks and I know all of my walks and making better food choices here and there were my saving graces. 

In the meeting, the new WW 360 program was introduced.  I have not read through the materials yet, but plan to do so sometime today.  Our "project" or "focus" for this month is to make one small change and work on it until it is a routine.  I chose tracking since when I was consistently tracking, I was consistently losing as well.  It will be a struggle especially with everything at home being so awful, but I am going to give it my best.

It is 12pm and I have made it to 50% on my ActiveLink...I have tons to do today so I am sure I will reach 100%...one of my goals is to reach 100% everyday this month.  So far I am 7 for 7!

Day 106...Will be an active, tracking, successful day!

Onto Day 107...

Day 105...

I picked my dad up from the hospital this morning.  He was not thrilled about all of the medication they were sending home.  As I was sitting there taking notes and talking to the nurse, he was getting grumpy.  I couldn't believe it...the harder I work to take care of business the more crap comes my way.  The tears started flowing.  I told him he needed to do what they said until we see the doctor and Tuesday and figure out what is next.  I told him I was tired and couldn't;t go through all of this again...arguing, hospitals, nursing homes.  He stopped talking, sat straight up in the chair, folded his hands, and didn't say anything else.  I am not sure if it finally hit him that I am the only one he has, or he is just taking time to work on what he will yell at me about next.  It is very hard to carry on in this situation, but I have no other choice.

I took a 6 1/2 mile walk first thing in the morning.  I didn't realize how far it would be, but once I got going, there was no turning back.  I earned 12pp for the day and reached 183%.  I also tracked all of my eats, got in plenty of water, fruits, and veggies, and only went over by 2pp for the day.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Day 104...

Another busy one...

Took the kids to school.

Went for a 3 mile walk.

Stopped in the grocery for a banana and water.

Got my nails filled.

Ran to the scrapbook store to use their die cuts to prepare for Christmas gifts.

Went to Joanns to look for a paper cutter for my dad...no luck.

Ran into Target for 1/2 bag of popcorn and a Diet Pepsi to hold me over until I got home for lunch.

Came home to my mom crying because she couldn't find her pills and anticipating my dad's homecoming tomorrow.

Helped her and adjusted the alarm on my phone for the rest of the day's pills.

Made lunch for my mom and I. 

Ate lunch.

Ate something else.

Ate something else.

Ugh...

Picked up the girl from school.

Are something.

Picked up the boy from school.

Visited my dad and took him his newspaper, cookies, and coffee from McDonald's.

Did not eat a cookie...or anything else from McDonalds.

Drank my water in the car.

Met my husband at Home Depot to buy a new door for my dad's room.

Came home and made dinner.

Did the dishes.

Helped the girl with homework.

Helped the hubby with the door.

On my way to rinse soap out of my daughter's hair, cook my hubby's dinner, watch our show, do some laundry, and finally hit the sack.

Today was a long, busy, eaty day.  Tomorrow will be long and busy and I hope not too eaty.

I know I am the one who decides what, and how much, goes into my mouth, but sometimes my thinking is consumed by too many other thoughts.

Day 104...Activity - good...already earned 9pp!  Food - Fail!

Onto Day 105...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Day 103...

Another busy day!  I didn't feel like walking this morning, but I did.  I didn't walk any hills, and didn't do my normal 3 miles, but I did get in 35 minutes...something is better than nothing!  In spite of having a shorter walk, I have earned 5pp so far for the day.  It is 7pm so I won' get too much more, but I still have plenty to do before bed. 

I took my mom to visit my dad.  That went ok, but there is alot of unknown about how he will be once he is home.  When we got home, we had lunch and then I dropped my mom off to get a pedicure.  I picked the kids up, worked on some Christmas crafts, went to Wal-Mart with my hubby, made and ate dinner, and here I am.  I still have to heat up my husband's dinner and then I will be done in the kitchen.  Today has been another eaty day...not as bed as yesterday, but eaty none the less.  One day at a time...

Day 103...Activity - Good!  Food - Still Struggling!

Onto Day 104...

Day 102...

My daughter was feeling well enough to go to school this morning.  I got in my 3 mile walk, and I am now off to take my mom to the doctor for her leg.  I packed some sandwiches, grapes, and water for lunch as from her doctor we will go see my dad.  We have eaten out quite a bit these past two weeks and I am tired of worrying about money and not so great food choices.

I am super tired, physically and emotionally...anticipating the visits with my dad, the visits themselves, and anticipating his return home has taken a toll, especially since I am still working on taking care of my kids, hubby, and mom.  I will continue to carry on and hopefully some goodness will come our way!

After hours of waiting at the doctor with my mom, more time waiting for the CT Scan, and numerous phone calls, it has been determined that my mom does not have a fracture in her hip.  She does however have a "bad" hip and bursitis.  OTC pain medicine and rest is supposed to ease the pain, if not we will be sent to a surgeon for the next step.  Thankfully both of my parents have really good health insurance and almost everything was covered!

I went to see my dad by myself again as it was too late and my mom stayed home with my daughter.  He seemed appreciative of his coffee and cookies.  I did find out that he will be coming home this Friday.  I am nervous about how he will act and I feel bad that I am more anxious than overjoyed.

My eats were all over the place throughout the day even though I packed a lunch for my mom and I.
My activity was great.  I earned a total of 10pp and reached 167%...not enough to counteract all of my eats though since the scale was up this morning.  I am sure some of it is from too much salt and not enough water, but it is what it is.  At this point I am just trying to survive and stay sane in the process.

My sister-in-law, the only family member we really see or hear from is getting a new Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer so she gave me her old one.  It is like new and fabulous!  Last night I made fresh whipped cream to eat with strawberries and this morning I made chocolate chip cookies.  I have wanted one of these mixers for as long as I can remember and I absolutely love it!  It is quick, clean, and amazing!  Per my daughter's request tomorrow's "test" will be mashed potatoes.

Day 102...Activity - Beuno!  Food - Not so bueno!



Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Day 101...

My daughter was still sick and stayed home from school again...I have tried everything the pharmacy suggested for her cough and finally took her to the doctor.  Just as I figured she didn't want to give her anything.  I explained that she coughs all day and night and can't even sleep...finally she prescribed some cough medicine with codeine.  Our local pharmacy is a hot mess and after waiting forever, I finally had to leave to pick up my son.  Because they did not get the medicine ready in time she could only take it once last night.  Today I will give it to her right after school and again at bed time and hopefully she will get better quickly.

I went to visit my dad by myself yesterday.  He wants to come home but it is not my decision.  He was not being very nice and I had to leave so I would make it back up the freeway to get my son from school.  I asked the nurse about the staples in his head and she said she would take them out before the end of the day.  I wonder if they would have taken them out if I had not asked!?!?  Today was Day 10 since they were put in.

My mom's doctor's office called and they think she has a fracture in her leg from the fall.  They wanted her to come in, but not until the 12th!  I was furious that they would wait so long.  After a few phone calls they scheduled her for tomorrow morning at 8am...then decided the doctor wouldn't be in at that time...what the heck!?!?!  We are going at 10am and will hopefully get some answers and get her fixed up if need be.

I did not walk in the morning because my daughter was sick, I had some major grocery shopping to do, and I had to see my dad.  My daily eats were not too bad in quantity, but I did have quite a bit of bread in the afternoon and evening.  By 10pm I was to 98% on my ActiveLink so I did some toe touches and cross punches while I watched TV...by the time I went to bed I reached 104% and earned 4pp for the day.

Day 101...=/-

Onto Day 102...

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Day 100...

I can't believe it has already been 100 days since I have been consistently blogging, faithfully going to weekly Weight Watcher meetings, and I have reached (or exceeded) my daily ActiveLink goal on all but about 20 of those days!  There were quite a few days that I was very close to 100% and for whatever reason just didn't have the umph or time to get there.  My mornings walks almost always ensure that I make it so I am going to keep doing them for sure!

I am not proud that I have not lost more than I did in these past 100 days, but I am happy that I weigh less than I did on Day 1...5 pounds less.  I will not say only 5 pounds because I need to be positive and continue to cut myself a bit of slack considering my current situation.  I am not using it as an excuse, but it is definitely a major factor in my weight loss efforts.  I would be able to change my environment in a more effective way if my family and I had our home, but since we don't, I am thankful we have somewhere to live and will do the best I can.

I gave my mom the day off today and took my 16 year old son to visit my dad.  I made sure to bring some peppermint candies to help with the smell as I almost gassed myself sniffing so much hand sanitizer yesterday.  We stopped and bought my dad a coffee and a cookie.  I brought him a box of "soft" kleenex from home, a pair of pajamas, a train magazine that had come in the mail, and the Sunday paper.  He seemed kind of indifferent, but it it what it is.

On the way home it was raining really hard.  We stopped off the freeway for a break from the rain and had lunch at McDonald's.  I had a Big Mac, Medium Fries, and a Diet Coke...not the best choices, but none the less the choices I made.  I also had 1 cookie.  I got alot done at home before we left and have been busy nonstop since we got home.  I am already to 99% so I am sure I will exceed 100% by the time the night is over.  Throughout the day I have had spurts of frustration and "eaty" moments.  I am super ready for Weight Watcher's new 360 program to come out...this coming Saturday is the day for our meeting.  I am excited as my leader thinks the new program materials and topics will help me in my current situation...I hope so.

This week will be busy as usual with daily trips to see my dad, taking my mom to the chiropractor, taking the kids to and from school, working on teacher holiday gifts, homework, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.  I am going to take my morning walks daily, rain or shine.  I finally reached the gym and they confirmed my membership was finally cancelled so if the weather does not hold out I will have to find some other exercises to do to make sure I get something in everyday.  My arm is almost better so I am going to give it another week and then start using my hand weights...after a few weeks with no pain I will ease back into the Kettlebell too.

Everyone at home is a bit uneasy not knowing when my dad will come home.  It makes me sad because we should be so excited he is coming home, but really we are worried if he will be nice or his normal nasty self.  I guess he didn't hit his head hard enough to wipe the mean out.

Day 100...Not great, but not too bad either.

Onto Day 101...

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Short and not so sweet...

Day 90...Thanksgiving...I got up early and rode my bike 12 miles...woo hoo!  I did really well during the day and at Thanksgiving dinner...maybe a little too well because by the time we got home from dinner at my brother's. I was hungry.  I didn'y do too bad, but it was late to eat.  My son and I went to Kmart for a few Black Friday items, and that was that.  Earned 9pp and reached 157%.

Day 91...Black Friday...I shopped by myself, since my hubby had to work, from 6am to 12pm.  I was not impressed with most of the sales and walked out of quite a few stores empty handed.  I did order a few items online, but nothing too exciting this year!  One good / strange thing was that the stores were not very crowded...maybe because most of the stores opened at midnight and I wasn't there until later...oh well...short lines, good for me!  My eats were kind of all over the place and I did not track.  Earned 2pp and reached 86%.

Day 92...Trauma, shock, and weigh in!  I woke up to my husband's alarm at 4am...then again at 4:30am.  Around 4:15am, my husband thought he heard our dog scratching on our son's bedroom door.  I went to check and they were noth fine.  I noticed that my dad's bedroom lights were on...usually he is in bed by 1am so I was surprised to see lights.

I knocked on the door, he responded grumbly so I tried to open the door but couldn't.  I went through the bathroom and found him on the floor parallel to the door with a huge puddle of blood under his head.  There was also blood all over his room...on the floor, on walls, the dressers, the chairs, every surface on the side of the room that did not have his bed.  It looked like a murder scene and I could hardly believe what I was seeing.  I went to my dad and tried to explain where he was and that he needed to be still.  My husband brought the phone, I called 911, I held a towel on his head, and the paramedics, firemen, and ambulance came...even though they came quickly it seemed like forever.  I was shaking, my teeth were chattering uncontrolably...maybe signs of shock?

I thought he had had another stroke, but he was responsive.  My husband had to go to work, my mom stayed with the kids, and I followed the ambulance to the ER.  After we had been there awhile and they had done some tests, they determined he had not had a stroke, but that his blood alcohol level was 248.  He used to drink whiskey by the gallon, but since my mom does not drive, I do not buy it for him or take him to the store to buy it.  He does drink a few beers each night because it is not worth the fight.  He told the ER doctor that he had found some whiskey but didn't know where it came from.  We think he must have hidden it back in May or June and just ran into it when he was looking for something.  My sadness and fear turned to anger pretty quickly.  He got 4 staples in his head and they told me he was going to be admitted to the hospital.  I stayed for a few hours, he was not being nice to me, so I left.  I went to my WW meeting on the way home.  No shower, no makeup, no weigh in book, no weigh in clothes...just me.  I was up 3.6 pounds.  I know some of it was due to the water I drank at the ER, not getting enough sleep, and eating random snacks and meals, and to many of the leftovers from my son's birthday party.  I was glad I went to the meeting...it is a happy and safe place for me to be, even when I gain.

My mom had cleaned up most of the mess by the time I got home.  I couldn't go into his room for most of the day.  When my husband came home from work we both finished cleaning.  We filled an entire trash barrel with all of the items that had blood...it just wasn't worth trying to clean them.  My dad will be mad when he gets home, but everything we threw out can be replaced.  He should be thankful my husband heard him and that I went to check because normally we do not go in his room until 9am to wake him up for his medicine...by then he would have bleed to death.  Sadly he is not thankful.

Day 92...3am...received a call from the hospital.  My dad had fallen out of bed face first and they had to do another CT Scan.  The scan was fine, but he cut the bridge of his nose, above his eye, and his whole face was bruised.  When we went to visit my mom got upset and had to cry.  He acted like nothing happened and that is hurtful to her.  They put him in a room closer to the nurse's station and gave him and his roommate a "sitter' to be there around the clock...good idea!

Day 93...Got a call from the hospital...had to authorize them to give him 2 units of blood.  Went to visit...still not fazed...remembered a bit of what happened, but didn't seem too concerned.  Thought he would go home...not yet.

Day 94...Another visit...just like the others...frustrating for me, sad for my mom.

Day 95...Same as Day 94.

Day 96...Same as Day 95.

Day 97...Didn't visit because he was going to be transferred to a skilled ursing facility about 20 miles away from our home.  There were many calls back and forth and finally I gave up on trying to decided when a good time to visit would be.  He finally got transferred and settles in at 8pm.  I called several times throughout the day...all I could do.

Day 98...Another scare...My mom and I went to visit at the new facility.  While I signed paperwork, my dad told my mom that the two of them had stayed at that facility when they moved to California 30 years ago...this is not true, not sure where it came from.  He was there, by himself, after his stroke in January this year.  Even then, he was talking about the "last time" he was there, but that was his first stay there.  After our visit we stopped at McDonald's for a late quick, lunch before we had to get my daughter from school.  I had a small cheeseburger, diet coke, a few fries, and 1/2 of a chocolate chip cookie.  I did eat the other half later in the day, but I did well. 

Later in the afternoon I took my mom to the doctor to get her hand checked.  She has arthritis throughout her body and her fingers swelled and her hand hurt to grip things.  She didn't want to go, but her insurance covers office visits 100% and I don't like her to be in pain.  The doctor told us it was an arthritic flareup and we are to use Aleve, Tylonol, and soak her hand in warm water with Epsom salt.  After the appt I had to get some medical records for my dad.  When we were leaving, my mom went to get up from the chair and it slid back, and she fell on the floor.  I was so scared that she broke something or really hurt herself.  Tears came instantly, and so did medical staff.  They took her blood pressure, got her up, and took several x-rays.  It was the end of the day at closing so I am thankful they took the time to take care of her.  She did not break anything, thankfully and is to use ice and the medications directed for her hand. 

Day 99...Weigh in...This morning my mom woke up in a little pain, but not too much.  I got up early and went to my Weight Watcher meeting.  Even though it was sprinkling a bit, I parked a ways away and walked.  I have actually walked every single morning this week...it helps me clear my mind, gives me time to enjoy the colorful fall leaves, and helps work off my extra eats.  I did not track all week, but did not go too crazy either.  I was down 1.4 pounds.  Even though I did not lose what I gained last week, I am thankful I lost.  I have got to find happiness where I can and give myself a break once and a while.

My husband is home today so we are going to put up the Christmas lights.  I also have a ton of stuff to do...visit my dad, do laundry, crafting with my daughter for her teachers' holiday gifts, plan this week's menu, take my mom to get her nails done (got to find things that make her feel good), and the list goes on.  I did get in a good walk this morning and have already reached 55%.  I am sure I will make it to 100% today since it is only 11am.

I am still not where I want to be in my weight loss journey, but I think I have done pretty well thus far with all of the changes and my life seeming to get turned upside down every other day.

No giving up...

Onto Day 100...