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Monday, November 5, 2012

Day 73...Still feeling in control...

My daughter was still a bit coughy and boogery this morning so I kept her home from school.  It is now 3pm and she is much better...she will be able to go back to school tomorrow for sure.

I dropped my son off at school, went for my 3 mile hilly walk, stopped at the store to change some Redbox movies, and came home to be with my girl.  We had to take my mom to the gym to swim, came home for an hour, went to pick her up, came home for lunch, and I have been taking care of stuff in my desk since. 

I just picked my son up from school and came home to my dad yelling about how my husband doesn't know how to d anything because he didn't "correctly" stack something in the garage.  First of all my husband is very handy, smart, and willing...he helps my parents all the time and all my dad can do is *h!t on him.  I get so frustrated.  I told him what we need to do is go through stuff he hasn't touched in years and decide what to use, donate, or trash.  He then asked if I wanted him to move out.  He couldn't even if he wanted to.  He is so far from reality he wouldn't know where to start to move, find somewhere to live, or be able to manage on his own.  My response was I would like to move out but I can't because I need to take care of him and my mom.  He then told me he could take care of her...he hasn't taken care of her, or himself, in years.  Rather than staying in the kitchen to fight with him, I walked out and sat in the bathroom.  If I were to have gone to my room, he would have seen me and continued the fight.  After he went back to his room I finished making my son's snack and came back to the computer.  I didn't eat anything out of frustration or anger...a plus, I guess.

We are having a 16th birthday party for my son on the 17th of this month.  Two of my five siblings live locally and are coming...sometimes it pisses me that they will come to our parties but won't visit or call otherwise.  Everything falls on me and I am tired.  I am the youngest brother is 13 years older than me and me oldest is 19 years older.  They all figure since I live here I should be the only one to deal with my parents...they think I am living the good life...not working, not paying rent...I don't have time to work, my husband doesn't make enough to pay rent, my parents have a reverse mortgage so they don't pay "rent" either, and if we had to pay someone for all my husband and I do they would be bankrupt. My reality couldn't be further from what my siblings think it is.  They also assume I will get the house when my parents are gone however, there is no house to "get".  It is technically upside down, but because they have the reverse mortgage are able to live here as long as 1 of the 2 is living in the house.

I could just scream!!!!  I will not let him get to me today.  I will continue to work on what I am doing, cook and eat dinner as planned, and end the day well.


Day 73...Will be a success, dang it!!!


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