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Saturday, May 19, 2012

7 months...

For some reason, I read my profile...the one on my blog.  As of October of last year I was down 75 pounds.  As of this morning, I am down 75.4 pounds.  Seven months have passed and with all of my weekly losses and gains, I am the same weight I was SEVEN MONTHS ago!  I have been struggling with the scale for months, but did not realize so much time had passed.  Since October I have slowly slipped off my to do list and fallen into old habits, including putting others' needs before my own.  My mom quit WW awhile ago.  I have been so busy with day to day life and struggles, I have not even been able to enjoy not having to WW for someone else besides myself.

I am done.  I will continue to take care of my kids, husband, and parents, but I will make sure that I take care of myself as well.  If I had been paying attention these past seven months, I could possibly weigh 50 pounds less than I do today, maybe even be at goal!  I don't know what I have been thinking.  Obviously not thinking enough about what foods, and how much of those foods, have been finding my mouth.  My exercise has been pretty good, but my eating has been all over the place...good, bad, good, worse...

My parents like their cream, cake, donuts, etc.  I am not much of a sweets person, but sometimes the urge strikes and when it does I feel like I lose control.  Most sweets have crazy high WW pp values...a few bites can be enough to consume, or exceed, one's daily pp allowance for sure.  I have got to keep my focus and mindfully decide whether or not to eat.  Many times I eat when I am not even hungry.  It seems foolish, like spending $ 50 more for an identical item simply because it is red instead of blue.

Looking back at how well my weight loss journey started I honestly feel like I have wasted the past seven months, like I have failed myself.  I am not going to let that feeling lead to weight gain.  I am going to use that feeling and frustration to fuel my efforts to lose weight, reach my ultimate weight loss goal, and maintain that weight for the rest of forever.  The thought that I could have realistically been at goal by now is shocking and heartbreaking.  These past few months I thought I had not given up on my weight loss efforts, but truthfully I didn't give 100%.

Enough is enough.  This is my time to shine and succeed.  Why shouldn't I become a WW success story?  Why shouldn't I reach my weight loss goal?  Why not me?  I am the only one standing in my way so it is time to step aside and enjoy the ride!  I have lived in Two-ter-ville for far too long...One-der-land ~ Here I come!



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