Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Why won't you move?

I have worked really hard this week, every single day of this week.  I have been eating well, drinking plenty of water, and have done some type of physical activity everyday.  Saturday was a fast walk to and from my WW meeting, Sunday was leisurely walking at the swap meet, but still walking and in 100 degree weather, Monday was 70 minutes of spin, yesterday was 35 minutes on the treadmill ranging from a 3% decline to a 15% incline at 3.0 mph followed by a 60 minute high energy cardio / dance class.  I should be down a few pounds from Saturday by now.  

When I stepped on the scale this morning I was so frustrated!  220.5...the same number that I saw on Saturday morning, and Sunday morning, and yesterday morning.  I am thankful I didn't gain over the weekend since I did use my weeklies, but I also did get in a lot of activity.  Monday I used 13 of my activity pp and yesterday I used 2.  That is only 15 out of the 51that I have earned.  In December when I got down to my lowest weight on my scale of 212, it only lasted for a day.  Since that day my weight has bounced between 215 & 222.  I am tired of seeing the same 8 numbers over and over day and day out.  I want to get out of the 20,s and teens, and stay out of them.  I want to get to the 10's and then on to the 100's.  I have been at this weight before.  This seems to be my "normal" weight but I am not happy here.  I want to reach a healthy weight...one that feels good on the inside and looks good on the outside.  Losing weight is not just about being "skinny" or how you look.  It is about being healthy and feeling good physically and emotionally on a daily basis.  It is about feeling pride and accomplishment from reaching a goal that seemed impossible.  It is about me doing something for me.

I will not let the scale determine the course of my day.  I ate a healthy breakfast consisting of 1 egg, 4 egg whites, a small banana, and a glass of water.  I am going to try spin at the gym this morning.  I have a kink in my back so I am not sure how it will feel.  It hurt and pulled during some of the moves in class yesterday but I made it through to the end.  I am not sure if my back is weird because of our new bed or just because.  I have not been getting enough sleep the past few nights, that may be part of the scale's problem too.  After the gym I am going to come home and just take it easy.  I think I might just take a me day and spend a few hours watching TV, something that I rarely have time to do. 




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