This morning I had planned on walking and then looked at my to do list and decided it would be best to tackle that and get ahead for the weekend. I have not tracked my eats all week and decided to start today. I don't know why I think I can not track and still lose weight considering if I don't track what I eat, I don't remember what I eat! Tomorrow starts a new week, but I started today with tracking breakfast and planning dinner. When I get over tired and stressed out, tracking is always the first thing to go...that needs to change! I have to remember that I tracked 100% faithfully for almost a full year in 2011...through many tough times!
Today has been long and tearful. I am just too tired...tired of struggling with food...tired of struggling to find enough time in my day...tired of worrying about $...tired of not being able to go anywhere or look forward to anything fun...tired of being tired. I am thankful for everything I have...my family, a roof over our heads, food on the table, reliable cars, hot and cold water, indoor plumbing, at home laundry, etc, but sometimes I fill like we are simply surviving rather than actually living.
Next Friday I am having an upper GI test. I am nervous. I hope they don't find anything bad, or at least not anything that cannot be fixed. My liver and spleen are enlarged and my blood platelet count is low. My "blood" Doctor thinks my spleen is eating my platelets, but he is not sure why. Last June he did a bone marrow biopsy, but thankfully it came back ok.
My eats started out well today, but then went wrong...not terribly wrong, but definitely not right. I should have taken my morning walk, but I really had to get some things taken care of before I took my mom to the Chiropractor.
Tomorrow I will go to Weight Watchers...not sure what the scale will say, but I will be there. I will weigh in, walk a mile, go back for the meeting, and then walk another mile.
Hoping to feel better tomorrow...
Onto Day 35 and Weigh in...
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